How Can We Best Help Others

In some previous posts, I have mentioned the idea of shifting the world away from the self-focused and egocentric "me" path, and onto the humanitarian "we" path. However, seeing as how the world is so grand and there are so many different people and perspectives in the world, it raises the question: How can we best help others? How can we help create a more compassionate shift in the world?

During class today, we had a guest speaker come from France named Mr. Choucha. He works with refugees as a social worker and does his best to provide these people with the resources needed to help them live comfortably. I had the chance to discuss some of my ideas with him after the lecture and it really demonstrated that he and I share similar perspectives. Below are some of the ideas that we discussed:

1) When working with others, the age, race, religion, etc. of the person does not matter because all that matters is they are human. We all come from different places and have different experiences and perspectives that make us unique, but when you strip away all of those things, we are all human and everyone should be treated as such, a human.

2) When helping others in difficult situations, the primary focus should not be the administrative work and results, but instead, the focus should be on the individual and helping them feel comfortable.

3) We can never tell someone what to do to make a situation better, all we can do is provide the resources and tools needed to the individual so they can make the change. People are generally not receptive to force, and will often take is as a form of attack. This causes people to close themselves off and focus more on defending themselves, which makes it more difficult to help the client.

4) Nonverbal communication is a huge part of comfortability. By mimicking another's nonverbal communication, body language and temperament, they will be more likely to feel comfortable faster, which will provide you with more opportunities to help them.

5) Eye contact and interaction are key factors of helping others because it is what fosters a connection. There is a huge disconnection between individuals because of the "virtual" or "digital" influence in the world right now. (Ex. when walking on a bus, people rarely acknowledge or interact with the bus driver. They will rush to their sit and be on their phone in the own little world")

6) The United States is very different from the rest of the world in that we are seen as being "imperialists". Everyone else in the world interacts with one another, both culturally and personally because of all of the different types of people and ethnicities in Europe. There are so many cities and countries with different languages, cultures, etc., that everyone there is a lot more open to physical comfort and understanding. However, in the United States, everyone is very isolated and closed off. Houses have multiple walls between each other and even sometimes fences. People do not enjoy physical contact as much, and everyone is focused on themselves and their happiness in this world instead of the happiness of the whole.

Selfish vs. Selfless - The WHY (Intentionality)

For as long as I can remember, helping others has been something that was engraved in my personality. Over the years, I have spent a lot of time helping family, friends, and strangers. Some of the things I have done include buying food for the homeless (I take them inside or ask them what they would like from the restaurant instead of giving them money), or helping strangers carry heavy loads across locations. Whenever I see someone in need, I do my best to help them in any way I can. As a result, I have been called ‘selfless’ countless times.

However, I remembered something from the television show, Friends, in which Joey Tribbiani explains to Phoebe Buffay that there is no such thing as a ‘selfless good deed’ because every good deed will bring the individual happiness. After thinking about this idea, I realized how much validity that simple statement had and that made me wonder, “Am I actually a selfish person who helps others for my own happiness when I had always thought I did it for them?” Eventually, I came to my own conclusion about the idea, which is that a decision is either selfish, or selfless, depending on the intention behind the action. It is a given fact that every good deed brings the individual happiness because it elicits responses from the four ‘feel good’, or ‘happy hormones’. These four hormones include endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Therefore, if we can all accept that everything we do elicits some benefit or happiness for the individual, we have to look at what’s left, which is the reason he/she did the action in the first place.

I strongly believe in the idea that “everything is connected” in this world, which in this situation means there is always a motivation behind an action. There is a connection between the action, the intention, and the reaction, or feeling that we receive after conducting an action. For instance, if a person gave money to charity for the sole purpose of helping the organization or the children, then I believe that deed would be selfless. However, while they may have wanted to help the organization, if the underlying (or internal) reason for donating the money is for recognition, fame, or exposure of some sort, then the action is selfish.

In the end, I like to believe that if a decision was made in order to help yourself, that makes the action selfish, but if it was meant to help someone else, the community, the society, etc., then it is a selfless action. In other words, WHY we do something defines the type of person we are and our goals. This idea, helping the community and the society, is a key component to making the world a better, more positive place. If everyone can learn to help for the sake of helping others and not bettering ourselves, we can help the world move away from the self-focused “me” path and onto the outwardly humanitarian “we” path.

Money vs. Effort

When my friend, Tim, and I made JTnaturescape, we made it for the purpose of sharing nature trails and scenery with others to inspire them to hike with their loved ones and for the preservation of nature. We had a number of people tell us that they enjoyed our photography, so we decided to make an instagram account in order to try and share it with others around the world. During this time period, some lesser-known instagram accounts featured (or asked to feature) one of our pictures and tagged us in it. We were also approached by some more popular accounts such as "Huffingtonpost" and "Wanderlust".

Originally, when these 'big name' accounts contacted us, we were ecstatic. We thought this might be the moment when our photography gains the exposure it needs to follow through with the cause we believed in. However, "Huffingtonpost" essentially asked us to give up all the rights to our picture if we wanted them to use it, and more well-known accounts like "Wanderlust" wanted us to pay money for one of our photos to be featured. I later found this to be the case with a lot of the popular instagram accounts.

When I started to see this pattern, it really got me thinking; why does the hard work and talent one person may have get overshadowed by fortune (money) or connections? In this world, as sad as it may be, sometimes connections and money can make-or-break everything. With the help of connections and money, you can easily gain opportunities and exposure for a steady following. I understand that as the digital age becomes more prominent, companies are creating positions that support a lifestyle of technology. There are some people who have real world jobs, while making money on the side through a famous instagram account, or for some, the instagram account is their full-time job. Therefore, the idea of charging money makes sense for pictures to be featured because everyone has to make a living, but is it right? Is it 'fair' for some people to get 'instagram famous' because they feature pictures from other people that they themselves do not take, while also gaining money? Does everything really have to be about business and what one person can gain from the specific 'transaction'?

When I discuss this idea, I am not devaluing those who have fulfilled the 'American Dream' through their hard work, networking, and passion for their career. I am also not devaluing for instance, photographers, who need to pay for those features in order to get their pictures out there to gain a bigger following. It may just be me feeling prideful and clinging to the old ways, but the way I want my ideas and impact to be spread is the 'right' way; or by earning it. It does not sit right with me feeling like I am buying my way to recognition or exposure. Is this idea of wanting to be recognized for something wrong? Is it something that may ultimately end up holding people back? I wonder these things because the purpose of why JTnaturescape puts its photography out there is not for ourselves and to gain fame, but for others to appreciate nature the way we do. I want to believe that this idea is reason enough for people to share it with others, but maybe there is more to it...